


All I Want Is Everything

by MorganaNK



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel reflects on his relationship with Buffy</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want Is Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Characters the property of Joss Whedon and associates.  
> Lyrics the property of Def Leppard  
> No copyright infringement intended

‘I don’t know how to leave you  
And I don’t know how to stay  
I’ve got things that I must tell you  
That I don’t know how to say  
The man behind these empty words  
Is crying out in shame  
Holding on to this sinking ship  
When nothing else remains’

She’s in my arms, her heart beating steadily against my chest. The air is melancholy, this will be our last time together.

I don’t want to go but it is too dangerous to stay around her. Every time I see her the desire to lose myself in her grows. She is the only woman I have ever loved. When she enters the room the lights dim and everything else ceases to exist. She is my salvation.

Maybe I shouldn’t have come but I know how much this means to her. I can’t deny her anything…except the one thing we both truly want. To be together.

‘It’s hard to hold your head up  
When you’re kneeling down to pray  
And talking don’t come easy now  
When the words get in the way  
And if you could see what’s going on  
Behind these private eyes  
The truth would look so easy now  
But I’m running out of lies’

I fell in love with her the first time I saw her, crouched down in Whistler’s car as she walked down the steps of Hemery High School sucking that red lolly. I was offered the chance to redeem myself. I could become someone, her guide and protector. What I didn’t expect was that she would fall for me.

I wanted her as much as she wanted me. That night was the most perfect of my life and unlife. She laid herself open to me, gave herself to me heart and soul. She trusted me enough to lie with me. That night I felt blessed.

‘You think the shadow of doubt  
Is hanging over my head  
It’s just an angel whose wings hide the sun  
And it’s myself I betray  
I can not wish this away  
Took my chance now the damage is done’

Would I turn back time and change anything? It may be selfish but I wouldn’t give up one moment I spent with her. I regret Angelus tormenting her, but I think in his way he loved her too. What is there not to love?

The night is coming to an end now and all to soon we will have to part. I will fight by her side to stop the Ascension. And if we don’t die I will walk away. I won’t say goodbye, if I do I may look at her and change my mind. I have to do this while I still can.

I kiss her gently and murmur that I will see her before the battle. I cannot stay any longer, she slowly begins to fall apart before my eyes and I know there is nothing I can do. I hate myself for destroying her, for not being able to remain with her. I wish there were another way. I wish that we could fulfill our dreams. I cannot look back; my cold dead heart is breaking. 

‘All I want is everything  
Am I asking too much  
All I want is everything  
Like the feel of your touch  
All I have are yesterdays  
Tomorrow never comes’


End file.
